Embracing the Soft Side of Femininity: Overcoming the Fear of Intimate Moments with Yourself

For many women, the idea of embracing soft, intimate moments with themselves feels unfamiliar or even uncomfortable. Whether it’s pausing to admire your body in the mirror or indulging in self-care without guilt, these actions often come with feelings of embarrassment or hesitation.

This discomfort is deeply rooted in societal expectations. Women are often taught to prioritize humility and productivity, leaving little room for self-reflection and admiration. As a result, the act of simply appreciating your own beauty and femininity can feel foreign, or worse, self-indulgent.

But leaning into these softer aspects of femininity isn’t about vanity—it’s about reconnecting with yourself on a deeper level. When you embrace these moments, you’re giving yourself permission to feel whole, authentic, and worthy.

If this resonates with you, here are some steps to help you start overcoming the fear and leaning into the beauty of your softer side.

1. Begin with Small Acts of Admiration

Standing in front of a mirror can feel overwhelming for some. Instead, start small. When you notice something about yourself that you like—your smile, the curve of your cheek, or the way your hands move as you write—pause and acknowledge it. These small moments of admiration build a habit of self-acceptance.

2. Reframe Your Thoughts About Softness

Softness is often equated with weakness, but it’s quite the opposite. Softness in femininity is about nurturing, healing, and strength through vulnerability. Reframe how you view these moments. Instead of seeing them as indulgent or embarrassing, recognize them as acts of courage and self-respect.

3. Create a Ritual of Self-Connection

Set aside 10-15 minutes daily for an activity that connects you with your feminine energy. It could be a gentle stretch, applying lotion to your skin with care, or writing affirmations in a journal. The goal is to make this time sacred—a moment to feel and honor yourself.

4. Let Go of External Validation

Many women feel awkward about admiring themselves because they fear judgment—from others or even themselves. Challenge this mindset. You don’t need anyone’s permission to appreciate your beauty, worth, or softness. Give yourself permission to be unapologetically kind to yourself.

5. Surround Yourself with Positive Reinforcement

Spend time with people, content, and communities that celebrate softness and femininity. Whether it’s reading empowering books, following inspiring social media accounts, or joining women-centered groups, the energy you surround yourself with matters.

6. Practice Gratitude for Your Body

Your body is more than its appearance; it’s a vessel for life, experiences, and resilience. Write down three things you’re grateful for about your body each day. Over time, this practice shifts your focus from criticism to appreciation.

7. Seek Support When Needed

If your discomfort stems from deeper insecurities or past experiences, it’s okay to seek help. A therapist or coach can help unpack these feelings and guide you toward a healthier relationship with yourself.

Leaning into the soft side of femininity isn’t about creating a picture-perfect image of self-love; it’s about learning to coexist with every part of yourself—the beautiful, the flawed, the strong, and the vulnerable. It’s about unlearning the shame or embarrassment you may feel when facing your reflection or celebrating your body.

At My Natural Me, our Women’s Wellness & Fertility Health Program is designed to support women in reconnecting with their authentic selves, offering guidance and resources to nurture your mind, body, and spirit. Let’s rewrite the narrative together and celebrate every facet of who we are—bold, soft, and everything in between.

Liletta Harlem/ lilettaharlem.com