I’m a Retired Extrovert: Why We’re Not Going Out Like We Used To

A few years ago, I would have described myself as a full-blown extrovert—the type of person who lit up at networking events, could work a room without blinking, and found energy in movement and people. I was always on. Always out. Always in it.

Then the world paused.

During the pandemic, like many others, I was forced to sit still. To go inward. At first, I chalked up the change in my energy to the shock of it all. I remember thinking, “I’m different now.” I assumed it was temporary. That I’d bounce back.

And in some ways, I did.

But not all the way. Not to the woman I was before.

The Slow Burn of Daily Life

Now, as a wife, caregiver, business owner, and someone who still holds down a job, I’ve come to realize something important: I don’t have the bandwidth I used to. My energy is no longer an endless resource. These days, I find myself protective of my still moments—those quiet spaces where I can breathe, reflect, and just be.

I’m not alone.

In fact, I’m seeing this shift play out across the board. In the business world, I’ve watched as events that used to be sold out struggle to hit minimum attendance. Organizations who once rode the high of post-pandemic excitement are now rethinking how to engage people who are… just tired.

And it's not burnout. It's a new normal.

People are choosing rest. Solitude. Home. Boundaries.

What Can We Do?

Rather than resist this evolution, I’ve learned to lean into it. Here’s how I’m managing my “retired extrovert” season—and how business owners can adapt too.

For Individuals:

1. Honor Your Energy
   Your capacity may not be the same—and that’s okay. Don’t judge your worth by your social calendar.

2. Be Selective, Not Absent
   Choose events that align with your goals or values. Give yourself permission to say no to anything else.

3. Stay Connected—Your Way
   Text a friend. Send a voice note. Comment on someone’s post. Staying connected doesn’t always require a room full of people.

4. Schedule Recovery Time
   If you do attend something, plan time to decompress afterward. Recovery isn’t a luxury—it’s a necessity.

For Business Owners & Event Hosts:

1. Rethink the Experience
   Create events that feel more intimate, flexible, and intentional. People aren’t looking for “big”—they’re looking for meaningful.

2. Incorporate Hybrid Options
   Give your audience choices. Some will attend in person. Others will tune in from their couch. Both count.

3. Lean on Community Over Crowds
   Shift focus from “how many” to “how engaged.” Ten people fully present is more powerful than 100 halfway there.

4. Offer Value Beyond the Event
   If your business depends on networking, think about what happens before and after the gathering. Can you send a thoughtful recap, create a private group, or offer exclusive resources?

Final Thoughts

I’m still sociable. I still enjoy a good conversation. But I’m not the same extrovert I used to be—and honestly, I don’t want to be.

The world has changed. I’ve changed. And that’s not a loss. It’s a recalibration.

We’re in a season where quiet strength matters more than loud presence. Where connection comes in softer forms. Where authenticity beats activity.

So to my fellow “retired extroverts”: You’re not less. You’re just different. And different might be exactly what we all need right now.